Crazy as an ork
Duncan was sitting on the floor of small bare ship room. Light was very low so only basic coutures of his face were visible. Rest of his body in black xeno-armor was melted in shadows of underpowered lumen globe. He started his story.
“It was supposed to be a routine patrol. Nobody expected bloody greenskins that far north. Damn, nobody expected them at all. We wiped them out just 5 years before and we thought that it will take them at least 15 years to become treat again.
I never saw them coming. In seconds my entire squad was dead. Except for me and Kirov. Somehow in madness of the ambush two of us got lucky and slipped away. Well, being in rear guard of the formation probably helped too.
Thanks to camo-cloaks and shitty terrain we managed to break line of sight and lose them. They could not see us, but the green bastards knew we were there. They even brought three bike like vehicles and started scouring the area. We looked them from the top of the hill where we were hiding. It was mater of time before they find us but if we moved they would run us down. Vox lines were down and city was three days away. We were not expected to return for at least a week more. There would not be any rescue.
Then Kirov got a idea. I did not know if it was stroke of genius or madness. He suggested that we snipe the driver of one of the bikes and try to run on an ork bike. Run on a damn ork bike."
Duncan started nervously laughing. Since there was no reaction from strange white haired girl on the other side of the room, he continued.
“I don’t know if you ever saw one of the Ork vehicles. It is not made to be used by humans. Everything on it large and bulky and it takes inhuman strength just to turn a steering wheel. You can’t just get on and drive one. But I could not think of better idea, so frag it, why not. Better to die fast, guns blazing than to wait for orks to hunt us down and eat us.
We waited for a biker to be close to us and we both took a shot. Just in case. Orks are tough bastards. We got lucky. Not sure who, but we shot the driver’s eye out and he dropped dead. His bike turned over little further away.
Two of us wasted no time. Before other ork figured out what is happening we were flipping his bike over. To this day I do not understand how did manage to stand it up. Adrenaline I guess. Kirov jumped into driver seat and I got behind. It took us almost full minute to figure out what the throttle was and start moving.
By luck or better knowledge of the terrain or blessing of the Emperor we managed to stay ahead pursuit for many hours. Then our bike run out of fuel. In heroic effort Kirov turned it around. Twenty seconds later pursuing ork bike appeared over the top of the low hill. I run couple of meters left and started firing my long-las rifle, while Kirov unleashed hell with bikes mounted bolter.
Lucky shot exploded fuel tanks on their bike. We have long outdistanced their infantry so we we safe for a moment. Then I noticed that Kirov was not moving. His leg was missing and he was passed out. It took me around half an hour to stop bleeding. Precious half an hour. I expected orks to storm us any moment. But I could not just leave him there. I would be dead or worse in not for his bold plan and inhuman effort in driving the damned bike. I probably forgot to mention that Kirov is a giant of a man. Over two meters tall and strong as several colonists. But is was heroic effort on his part anyway.
When bleeding stopped, I made a makeshift stretcher and started the hellish track back to the city. Two days later a patrol found us half dead. Kirov made it in the end. That ork crazy bastard. His insane plan worked after all."